Guest post by Emily Yu, program manager for social innovation, The Case Foundation

(A special two-part blog post covering the 2010 Independent Sector NGen Ambassador Lunch. Read the companion post, The Changing Faces of Mentorship—For the Mentee.) http://www.socialcitizens.org/blog/changing-faces-mentorship-mentee

Independent Sector hosted a special mentoring luncheon during its 2010 Annual Conference to bring together leaders from the next generation (NGen) and the nonprofit and philanthropic sectors (Ambassadors). During this progressive-style lunch, attendees learned from one another and discussed the changing role of young leaders in the professional community. With each new course, attendees had to move to a new table and engage with a new mix of people.

For attendees the event was a chance to exchange ideas, embrace diversity and help expand the talent pipeline. The luncheon is “simple, but important,” noted Nick Deychakiwsky of the Mott Foundation, because it creates a much needed space for dialogue and encourages important connections and relationships. Tiffany Tony of Yuut Elitnaurvia explained that from the NGen attendee perspective, the luncheon provided a welcome opportunity to “step back, refresh [her] enthusiasm and share ideas related to the nonprofit sector.”

The luncheon opened with a dynamic discussion about personal life lessons on mentoring from Brian Gallagher, president and CEO of United Way Worldwide; Diana Aviv, president and CEO of Independent Sector; and Susan Berresford, Independent Sector board member. There were many other notable Ambassadors, including: James Weinberg, CommonGood Careers; Michael Watson, Girl Scouts of America USA; Darrel Hammond, KABOOM; Ann Kramer, IBM; and Michael Smith, Case Foundation.

Panelists at the session reminded the attendees that we have to rethink how we look at and treat mentorships. The idea that a mentorship is focused on a mentor advising a mentee only is long gone. This traditional view of mentorship has evolved into an era of “mutual mentorship.”

It Takes Two to Make a Thing Go Right
Brian Gallagher, president and CEO of United Way Worldwide, kicked off the event by reminding us that “quality is quality” and that we should not limit ourselves to preconceived notions of what has value or is “good” especially when it comes to mentoring.

Before Gallagher’s daughter left for college, he gave her two albums he believed were representative of “quality” music, one of which was Revolver by The Beatles, in case you were curious. He thought she would learn to appreciate them and that there would be no one else in her dorm who would know anything about them. A month later he received an unexpected package from one of his daughter’s new college friends. The friend had listened to the albums Gallagher had given his daughter and in turn wanted to share some music he considered “quality.” Inside the package was the latest release from the band Modest Mouse.

A new, non-traditional two-way mentorship was born and more importantly it serves as a reminder that we can learn from one another regardless of age, title or background—just like with music, quality is quality. Berresford confirmed this sentiment during her discussion and noted, “there’s no reason a mentor has to be above you or beyond you… [so long as] they are different from you and you can learn from them.”

Honesty is Such a Lonely Word
For a mentorship to work and be successful, mentors must be prepared to be open and honest with their mentees. Critical to the relationship is the mentor’s willingness to tell mentees how they are really doing professionally, regardless of whether there is success or failure on which to report.

Don’t You Forget About Me
Aviv recounted a pivotal moment in her young professional career when Berresford, one of her mentors, called and asked her, “How are you doing?”

The phone call opened the door to a positive mentoring relationship that continues to this day. While the two-way mentoring continues to be adopted by more and more individuals, it is important to remember that someone has to make the first move. Aviv noted that when Berresford first called she was elated, but didn’t know what to say or how much to rely on Berresford, who had opened the door. Aviv put the onus back on Berresford as the mentor to set the tone of their relationship.

For mentors, this evolving relationship may be an uncomfortable or perhaps a welcome change. After all, there is no perfect mentorship manual for everyone out there to follow with all the answers. The bottom line is that the evolution of this relationship brings with it many unknowns. This event underscored that fact that with these variables come many opportunities and the ability to help shape and redefine our own new roles. It is both a liberating and undefined opportunity, which in and of itself presents a professional growth opportunity for us all.

Will you look to adopt this new form of mentoring? What do you think about the concept of mutual mentoring—is it a temporary phase, a reaction to factors pressing on today’s society or a more long term shift that is here to stay?